Remus Lupin & Nymphadora Tonks' Wedding

Remus had his hands together, rubbing them nervously. His face as white as a ghost, his body was shaking, trembling which was why he was sitting down with a beer by his side,

He could hear Lily and Tonks talking, but wasn;t able to hear them, what they were talking about. He heard her crying though. He rose to his shaky feet and walked to the door, but knew Lily would soon kick him out. He frowned and turned away before he opened the door.

He paced back and forth running his hands through his greying hair.. where was the man that was meant to comence this ceremony... He was getting panicy. He couldn't help it.. it was like waiting for someone to take a bandage off a wound. He wanted it down as soon as possible..

"lucky?" he asked looking rather confused after snapping out his daymare.. "Because I agreed to be with her..after.. who knows how long.."
He looked down at Lily and frowned slightly ".. why?" he asked, but knew what she was like and would most likely grab his hand anyway. He gave it to her and waited ".. why was she cry... if she doesn't want this.. then it's up to her.."

He looked down, his lips as still as stone, unable to smile, there were too many things playing on his mind. what if~s

"..But it's me who will let her down.. we may get married.. but she hadn't seen me under a full moon.. properly.. she doesn't know how dangerous I can be, I will die much sooner than she will.. she will be a widow before her time.. I know she wants children... but I can't give them to her.. she will realize this.. and regret this day.." he said as she placed the cufflinks on his cuffs of his shirt. He had seen them some where before but at that moment in time his mind was too clouded by thoughts of the near future " she could never left me down.."

"I can;t have them.. I am not going to risk them having my life!" he snapped at her suddenly ".. yes I might be getting married.. but I do not want to bring a child into this world that suffers and that is.. a outcase..." Remus soon went quiet as something else played on his mind ".. I~I can't do this...." he said feeling sick to his stomach "... she will be treated like me.... she will be a outcast for being with me.. her job could suffer...." He looked towards the fields of grass, looking as though he might make a run for it

"I am sorry Tonks.. I want to be with you.. love you... but.. the more I think.. the more I know its a bad mistake.. I know one day you will want a child.. a accident could happen and we will all be.. outcasts.. your job could suffer from it.. and in time I will pass and you will be left a widow before your time... perhaps looking after a imature werewolf.." Remus hands where trembling as he said these world. He was hard for him to look at her.. she was so stunning and it was heartbreaking.

"I never said said.. I said I did... but.. what about after today.. you haven't seen me after a bad night.. or on a bad day Tonks.." he took a deep breath and put a arm around her ".. please don;t cry Tonks... I am just saying what I think...before I say it after.."

He look up at her ".. just don't push what I have said to the back of your mind.. there is still time to think this over Tonks... I do not want you to regret this..."

"It's your choice..but you need to have a good think about it.. not everyone is here.. not even Harry.. no Albus nor someone to wed us." he chuckled rather forcefully. "What ever you want Tonks.. I didn;t want to upset you.. but I have and I am sorry..." he felt sick and remained seated on the chair. Tear were welling uo in his eyes too.

He pushed himself up with a hand over his stomach and left the small room to get some fresh air and to give Tonks some room to think

Remus was near the refreshments tent, picking at the ribs and sandwiches. getting closer to the wedding cake as he picked his rath though the food, not and then taking big gulps of his beer. finding they helped him settle and relax more.

He heard Tonks's voice and turned on the spot with some jam caught on his top lip. ".. what is it Tonks?" he asked walking towards her, popping the rest on the jam and cream cake into his mouth.