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| My First FanFiction - An Albus Dumbledore Story | |
| | Author | Message |
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Albus Dumbledore Mod
Posts : 164 Join date : 2009-07-18 Location : Hogwarts School.
Character sheet Age: Job: Health: (100/100)
| Subject: My First FanFiction - An Albus Dumbledore Story Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:36 am | |
| I didn't write too much because I thought "Well, it could be absolutely shit and then it would be pointless for me to write more" so if I get a good response here I may and probably will write more of it. I'm going to assume you'll know what it's about by the end of it so I'll say nothing else. Sorry if it's bad, I've never wrote a FanFiction before! “I often find that, it does not matter how dark the night may be, for the shadows will always be chased away by the light that is to come” - Myself
Around a mile outside the village of Little Hangleton, inside the closely packed forest was what was once a house. The Ruins of the House that once belonged to a wizard were broken. The House had not been lived in for many years and so its condition was deprived, ignored and eventually forgotten about. The local Muggle Authorities never considered it of any interest to knock down or move since nobody ever seen it nor did anyone complain of it. Inside the Ruins, lay items of furtniture that was eaten by bugs and insects; materials that were ripped and the floor that was stained with many different things, from the typical such as Pumpkin Juice and to the extreme and odd such as blood. Walking through the Forest, stepping over pieces of wood and branches was a very tall and thin man. His outline resembled a bottle top which was the only thing that could be seen in the darkness of the night. It was silent, no noise could be heard apart from the crack of the man walking through the branches and stepping on the sticks that lay on the hard, cold ground. It was summer, yet the ground had frozen and small white specks could be seen. The moonlight and the light on the end of this Wizard’s wand were the only two things making any light, without these to it would be completely dark and with no doubt the man would fall over. The man was wearing a dark, grey robe with a small hat that was bent over. He wore half-mooned spectacles that rested on a very crooked nose that looked as though it had been broken definitely more than once. His long wand was bumped in and out, made of a light wood named elder, his fingers were long and thin and gave the appearance of being extremely skilled with a wand – which was not deceiving. Albus Dumbledore continued along the path to the house, although not really a path of any sorts it was lighter than the other (frozen) soil and you could see where other people had walked over it, also was the outline of a large thick that what looked like a tube, but Dumbledore was quite sure that it was indeed the outline of a snake that had lived around the Woods. He approached the house, seeing the outline of it with his wandlight. He lifted the wand up a little higher and tapped it, as though tapping an invisible wall. A small orb of light fired from the wand-tip and flew over the House, illuminating most parts of it if it was not blocked by another object. He smiled slightly, he had found exactly what he was looking for – the House of Gaunt, which at one point housed the Grandfather, Uncle and most importantly Mother of Lord Voldemort.
Last edited by Albus Dumbledore on Wed Jul 29, 2009 8:10 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody
Posts : 36 Join date : 2009-07-24 Location : 12 Grimmauld Place, Ministry Of Magic, Hogwarts, The Burrow.
Character sheet Age: Unknown Job: Head Auror (Formerly), Member Of OOTP Health: (80/100)
| Subject: Re: My First FanFiction - An Albus Dumbledore Story Wed Jul 29, 2009 3:52 pm | |
| That was a good 1st portion. I read it through at first I thought it an extract from the HP6 book but it actually is alot more custom along through it. Well done! | |
| | | Albus Dumbledore Mod
Posts : 164 Join date : 2009-07-18 Location : Hogwarts School.
Character sheet Age: Job: Health: (100/100)
| Subject: Re: My First FanFiction - An Albus Dumbledore Story Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:28 pm | |
| Thanks a lot! I don't think it is as good as possibly being an extract from The Half-Blood Prince but I really am honoured you think it like that... I needed it to be custom, otherwise it wouldn't really be a FanFiction. Thanks for the positive feedback...
Funny Fact: It's exactly 499 words long. I couldn't find anywhere I could add a word to make it half a thousand... | |
| | | Professor R J Lupin Admin
Posts : 261 Join date : 2009-07-13 Location : Number 12, Burrow, hOGWARTS
Character sheet Age: 34 Job: Order member DADA professor Health: (30/100)
| Subject: Re: My First FanFiction - An Albus Dumbledore Story Wed Jul 29, 2009 7:59 pm | |
| Loved it, great start, Looking forward to more | |
| | | Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody
Posts : 36 Join date : 2009-07-24 Location : 12 Grimmauld Place, Ministry Of Magic, Hogwarts, The Burrow.
Character sheet Age: Unknown Job: Head Auror (Formerly), Member Of OOTP Health: (80/100)
| Subject: Re: My First FanFiction - An Albus Dumbledore Story Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:40 pm | |
| An extra comma or elipses(...) to continue it. Like ...next time or something. | |
| | | Albus Dumbledore Mod
Posts : 164 Join date : 2009-07-18 Location : Hogwarts School.
Character sheet Age: Job: Health: (100/100)
| Subject: Re: My First FanFiction - An Albus Dumbledore Story Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:58 am | |
| You may not have noticed, but grmmar is one of my many strong points. | |
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